Appropriate Behaviour towards Children
Author: Lone Bendixen Goulani, University of Kurdistan – Hewler, Kurdistan Region of Iraq
Review/editing: Aaron Rotsinger, University of St Andrews
Situation: Svend works for a Norwegian oil company and have relocated to Iraq with his wife Martha and their three-year-old daughter. They are all blond and have blue eyes. At the weekend, they go to a mall with their little girl in a stroller. The family gets a lot of attention. People stare at them, point at them and some come up to them to talk. An elderly couple approaches them, and the man says, “Welcome to Iraq!”. His wife pinches the little girl’s cheeks, and the girl starts to cry. The woman laughs and asks, “Why does she cry?” Martha asks the woman not to touch her daughter. The old man takes out his mobile phone and wants to have a photo taken with them. Svend declines sternly, and Svend and Martha quickly move on and pushes the stroller away from the situation. The little girl keeps crying, and the elderly couple looks upset.
Question: What happened in this situation? Why did Martha tell the old woman not to touch her daughter? Why did Svend not let the old couple take a photo of them? Why did the old couple get upset? How could they all have behaved differently?
Pinching the cheeks is a common way for people in Iraq to show affection for children.
Martha and Svend were unfamiliar with all the attention they got and felt stressed about the new situation.
The old couple had not seen foreigners before. They admired the Norwegian family and were interested in talking to them and taking photos of them.
Martha was worried about her daughter getting ill from germs on the old woman’s hands.
Svend was worried about how their photos might be misused in the future.
Have you ever felt people were staring at you? Why do you think they stared? How did the attention make you feel?
Do you allow strangers to take photos of you? Why/why not?
How do people in your culture show affection for children among family, friends and strangers?
Is it common in your culture that people touch children they meet for the first time?
Have you ever wanted to take photos of people from another culture?