Gender and Personal Questions
Author: Erina Ito, Kwansei Gakuin University
Review/editing: Aaron Rotsinger, University of St Andrews
Situation: Hiro was given a partner to work on a project with, and when they met for the first time, Hiro couldn’t tell what the student’s gender was. Maybe because Hiro wasn’t familiar with the student’s culture, their clothes, hairstyle and voice all seemed gender-neutral. Hiro asked them what their name was, and they replied, “my name is Casey,” which is also a gender neutral name. Without thinking, Hiro just openly asked what gender they were. Casey was a little confused, and answered “I am a man.” Immediately afterwards, Hiro realized that he was being very rude. Although they were able to work together, they didn’t have a good relationship.
Question: Why was Casey confused by the question? What would have been a better way for Hiro to handle this?
Some cultures are very sensitive about sharing personal information, and others are more open.
Maybe Casey is also confused about their gender.
Maybe Casey was insulted because he thought that Hiro shouldn’t care about his gender.
Hiro should never have asked about Casey’s gender in the first place.
Suggesting that a person doesn’t really resemble the gender they identify as could be very insulting.
How would you feel if someone asked your gender?
What other kinds of personal questions should you avoid asking when you meet someone?
Why do you think some people from some cultures feel uncomfortable sharing personal information?